Sunday, March 8, 2009

Everyday Hero...


Erma Bombeck saved my life.


For those of you who don’t know who she is, let me share. She was just an average, everyday wife and mother who wrote about her simply “complicated” life. Being a single mother I always felt that I wasn’t good enough. I had one kid that loved to eat gum of the ground, another who was forever flushing things down the toilet, and another who was fixated on girls at time when others his age considered them “gross”, and one that just wanted to stay with my mother. I felt like I was the most screwed up mother on the planet, that my kids were doomed for a life of therapy and meds (although my motto is “I am more then positive your therapist will love this story”). I needed a beacon of hope.


One day in a secondhand bookstore I came across Erma’s book entitled “If life is a bowl of Cherries…what am I doing in the pits?” I picked it up thinking it might be a fun read. So sitting on the train on the way home I started reading. I laughed and laughed, and laughed some more, to the dismay of those around me. Apparently when you’re the only one who is privy to a joke, it is annoying to others, but that did not stop me from laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes. This particular day I was reading about her learning to play tennis because she wanted to be “ cool and hip” like other moms, but she ended up entangling herself in the net and falling flat on her back in front of the whole club, to her children’s shock and dismay. Of course she was embarrassed but she found the humour in it and took it in stride. Her everyday adventures were so completely unimportant, but that is exactly why they were so interesting .


Erma gave me hope, where all other parenting books made me want to hand my children over to children’s services before I completely ruined their lives. In the pages of her books I learned that what I was going through was normal, and that I would live through it. I learned that no matter how crazy things seem they could be worse. She assured me that as a mother, that I was not a failure and that I didn’t have to be what everyone else expected. In the end I would be okay, and the kids would be okay, and she was right. Her love and laughter came through in her writing.


One amazing and inspiring thing I want to you to know about her, is not just her writing, but also her personal story. Erma suffered from a hereditary kidney disease, and battled cancer in her later years, yet through it all she was a wife, mother and a journalist. She wrote four thousand syndicated columns and wrote 15 best selling books. She was part of the feminist movement of the 60’s and she inspired women all over the world, until 1996 when she passed away from her ongoing battle with cancer.


Erma Bombeck’s legacy lives on and through the lives of women like myself. Women who needed to hear that their unconventional parenting skills were not bad, only different. Women who needed to laugh at things rather then blow a gasket over something that they had no control over. And more importantly to enjoy being a parent, because in a blink of an eye, they go from diapers to college. She inspired me, and pushed me forth, thus saving my life.


I think its only fitting that I leave you with a quote:


~It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. ~Erma Bombeck


Thank You Erma wherever you are~~xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, December 13, 2008

A Woman's Reality


This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.


Dear Mr. Thatcher,


I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.


Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?


As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!


The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'


Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.


For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .


Best,

Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Insult to Injury!


This month is about denouncing Violence Against Women and Girls. The white ribbon campaign is near and dear to the hearts of many. At my school there are many events to promote bring awareness to the community, and let women and girls know where they can get help if they need it.

On the very first day of the campaign we had a guest speaker on campus- None other then the defence attorney for Robert Picton- Adrian Brooks. For those who might not know Picton was convicted of murdering 6 prostitutes, implicated in 20 more deaths and claims to have killed up to 49 victims-- all women. Picton said "I would have liked to make it 50 even but I got sloppy."

Picton's guilt was undeniable. DNA evidence sealed his fate; it was all technicalities at the trial. So there is no way Mr.Brooks can say that he had no prior knowledge of his client’s guilt. Picton's given rights state that he is entitled to due process- innocent till proven guilty-any attorney who represented
Picton would make history; this would be jewel in his crown. I respect the fact that from a legal standpoint his experience in this trial is definitely relevant. He participated in grim historical event, which will not be forgotten any time soon.
Unfortunately, for Mr.Brooks he is now guilty by association.

I found it in very poor taste for Mr.Brooks to speaking on the opening day of the white ribbon campaign. From a moral standpoint the mere fact alone that he defended Picton-whose trial was a mere formality- speaks volumes as the possible character of Mr.Brooks (this is my own thoughts). There were many other times that he could have come to talk- why that day of all days? Did the establishment not know that we- the students, the community; the women- would find that offensive?

It saddens me to see that the lives of these women are so blatantly overlooked - just so we could be graced with his presence----- lucky us …..

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

December is Domestic Violence Month~


I got flowers today.

It wasn't my birthday

or any other special day.

We had our first argument last night,

And he said a lot of cruel things

that really hurt me.

I know he is sorry

and didn't mean the things he said.

Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today.

It wasn't our anniversary,

or any other special day.

Last night, he threw me into a wall

and started to choke me.

It seemed like a nightmare.

I couldn't believe it was real.

I woke up this morning sore and

bruised all over.

I know he must be sorry,

Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today,

and it wasn't Mother's Day

or any other special day.

Last night, he beat me up again.

And it was much worse

than all the other times.

If I leave him,

what will I do?

How will I take care of my kids?

What about money?

I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.

But I know he must be sorry

Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today.

Today was a very special day.

It was the day of my funeral.

Last night, he finally killed me.

He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered enough courage

and strength to leave him,

I would not have gotten flowers today.

~ Author Unknown ~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Violence against women is a serious issue in Canada
Half of Canadian women (51%) have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
Every minute of every day, a Canadian woman or child is being sexually assaulted.
One to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
Spousal violence makes up the single largest category of convictions involving violent offences in non-specialized adult courts in Canada over the five-year period 1997/98 to 2001/02. Over 90% of offenders were male.
Thirty-six percent of female victims of spousal violence and less than 10% of victims of sexual assault reported these crimes to the police in 2004.

each year (factoring into account social services, criminal justice, lost employment days and health care interventions).
Violence against women occurs across all ethnic, racial, religious, age, social and economic groups. Some women are more vulnerable however, and are more likely to experience violence, including women with disabilities, geographically-isolated women, young women and Aboriginal women.
Women are more likely than men to be victims of the most severe forms of violence
Women experience higher rates than men of sexual assault, stalking, serious spousal assaults and spousal homicide.
In 2004, twice as many women than men were beaten by their partners and four times as many were choked.
Of the almost 34,000 victims of spousal violence reported in 2000, women accounted for the majority of victims (85%): a total of 28,633 victims.
Women are three times more likely than men to be physically injured by spousal violence and five times more likely to require medical attention.
Women are five times more likely to fear for their lives as a result of spousal violence: the violence or threat of violence was so severe that 38% of women feared for their lives compared with 7% of men.

Violence against women affects children
Every year in Canada, up to 360,000 children are exposed to domestic violence.
For children who are exposed to violence, consequences can include emotional trauma, depression, injury and permanent disability, as well as other physical, psychological and behavioural problems that can extend into adolescence and adulthood.
58,486 women and 36,840 children sought refuge in one of 473 shelters across Canada between April 1, 2003 and March 31, 2004.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Women with ethnic background

I have been reading a blog that has always had/have interesting writing in it. The blogger is Emil Brikha. A young man that is LIVING his dream and that is something most of us only dream of doing. He has always interesting and mind opening topics in his blog, and I would like to share one of his publications with you.

Why do I want to share this? Because there are many women that will recognize themselves in this (one of them is me) and by reading this we understand that our feelings are shared by many, and maybe we can get some strength in knowing that we are not alone and choose our own way without having voices that hold us back from finding our own identities.

I think Emil Brikha’s writing can be recognized in many cultures, even the western culture, where women are held back from opportunities that could flourish their lives. Is it not wonderful that there are some men out there in the world writing for women’s rights? Thank you Mr. Brikha for letting us share your work!




The Assyrian woman who decided to just do it.
August 24th, 2008

Last Friday a woman’s life changed forever, but it started three months ago. I had written an article about my life in Malta and this woman read it. She decided to look me up on the internet and email me some questions about my choice to move, the life here and the sacrifices it took to actually make it happen.
About three months later, last Friday, this woman moved to Malta. She took a year off from her very successful carrier in Sweden and with a helping hand from me she got in touch with recruiting companies in Malta and was able to find a job within my area of business, iGaming (online betting, poker, casino etc). The company she got a job with even pays for her apartment and picked her up at the airport to take her to her new place. To top it off, it turns out she lives on my street, so we went from complete strangers to close friends and neighbours during this time.
The other day we were sitting on my balcony, watching the sea and talking about how she went from reading an article to literally rebuilding and redefining her life from scratch. She told me about her fear about what her family and others would say but at the same time the pride she took in being responsible in her choices and plans. Every move she made was carefully planned, leaving very little to coincidence.
She was telling me how many times she had been crying, panicking and mumbling “Damn you Emil” because what “I had gotten her into”. But she knows it was her choice so she laughs about it now, I just gave her the tools to fulfil a dream. In writing this I hope she can now bring inspiration and be a tool for any other woman in a similar situation. I am hoping more people will take after her. Despite all her insecurities and pre programmed behaviour she knew she owed it to herself to be the very best person she could be, not necessarily what her parents or traditions dictated for her. While her friends are settling down and getting married she is going through a rebirth, finally on her way to find her real self.
This Assyrian woman was born and raised in Sweden. Like many other Assyrians she was raised a certain way with a very conservative upbringing, basically moulded to wait hand and foot on her family and future husband. I’m not saying this is the typical Assyrian way but it’s not an uncommon way how girls are raised. Constantly put down and reduced to a symbol of perverted honour for the family to watch over at all times.
I don’t call it perverted honour just because it’s destructive for a person’s soul to be put down and controlled. I call it perverted because the boys are not treated and brought up the same way. For instance, surely if one believes in “no sex before marriage” that should apply to both genders. This is just one example of the many things that I dislike about some of my people’s mentalities and many things just like this has made me distant from my people through my upbringing. It is also these very reasons that drove this woman away from Sweden. She has been controlled her whole life to the point where she doesn’t even know what is her will and her own morals and what has been forced upon her by her surroundings.
I look at her now and compare her attitude to the person I got to know over email and I am bursting with pride over what a big step she dared to take. I know she is still battling inside, trying to find out who, what and why she is. I know this goes on in most of us but I also know that the sacrifices we make in life are rarely as great as the fear that prevents us from achieving them.
I have written numerous articles about and for the Assyrian people and most of the time I try to internalize the various problematic situations we are in by shifting the focus from pointing fingers outwards, to pointing a mirror at ourselves. I feel this is necessary because while we are screaming from the top of our lounges, demanding our political and human rights from the oppression and genocide in the Middle East we forget about the problems that we have in our communities where we can speak freely without fear for our own safety.
There is very little tolerance for liberalism and feminism. You can even put those two big issues aside and just look at basic fundamental things like materialism, ignorance and sexism. How are we supposed to survive as a people when we don’t even honour our girls and women? What honour is there in depriving your own daughter, sister or cousin from her God given right to make her own choices in life? I’m not saying you shouldn’t care or not set limits for your children. I’m simply saying, give them room to grow into individuals and be fair and equal because equality is the very basic form of respect we owe each other as people.
If we throw that out the window we can never have strong, independent women. We can never have free thinking, opinionated female leaders. If we are to survive as a people we better start picking up the trash in our own backyards and revaluate our moral compasses and teachings from our grandparents.
There is no shame in renewing, exploring and expanding. You can still keep your culture and traditions. But don’t fool yourselves. It has never been our culture or tradition to oppress our women or to force them into lives they don’t want. Not only that but you have no right because if you are religious and believe in God, God gave us free will so that we could make mistakes and repent from them and while we can express our concern and opinions about the choices our loved ones make, it is still their choice to make.
I know many girls and women who have been mentality enslaved by their families wishes. I know many boys and men who have been pushed into choices in life that were not theirs to begin with. I know some of my people (and in situations like this it’s hard to call them MY people) worry too much about what others might say or think. They should spend that energy loving and nurturing the people around them because there are some really beautiful choices being made, even if it goes against their families’ wishes and orders. It is the families’ responsibility as loving people and human beings to look beyond what was dictated to them when they grew up.
Take this woman for example. She was miserable in Sweden with her controlled life shattered around her ankles, forming a ball and chain, allowing her no freedom. No evolution of herself, simply maintaining an illusion, a smoke screen of what her parents wanted her to be, at the price of her own life.
Look at her now. She has a new job and a new apartment in a new country. She has a new life where she is actually smiling, laughing and from the bottom of her heart. Maybe it’s not the life her parents wanted for her but that is beside the point and beyond their control. If she is a strong, intelligent, righteous and responsible person they have nothing to worry about or criticize her for. The only responsibility she has towards her parents and God is to be the very best and most fulfilled version of herself that she can possibly be and I believe that is exactly what she is doing by making these choices for herself.
So, rather for her family to bow their heads in shame because they no longer have the power over her to tell her what to do, they should celebrate her strength and independence and the rest of us need to make sure that not one more generation of our girls and women grow up doubting their abilities and give them the freedom they truly deserve.








Retrived from: http://www.blog.lqp.se/colourful/



Author: Emil Brikha



Dark poem with deep meaning.....


With No Immediate Cause


every 3 minutes a woman is beaten
every five minutes a
woman is raped/every ten minutes
a lil girl is molested
yet i rode the subway today
i sat next to an old man who
may have beaten his old wife
3 minutes ago or 3 days/30 years ago
he might have sodomized his
daughter but i sat there
cuz the young men on the train
might beat some young women
later in the day or tomorrow
i might not shut my door fast
every 3 minutes it happens
some woman's innocence
rushes to her cheeks/pours from her mouth
like the betsy wetsy dolls have been torn
apart/their mouths
menses red & split/every
three minutes a shoulder
is jammed through plaster and the oven door/
chairs push thru the rib cage/hot water or
boiling sperm decorate her body
i rode the subway today
& bought a paper from a
man who might
have held his old lady onto
a hot pressing iron/i don't know
maybe he catches lil girls in the
park & rips open their behinds
with steel rods/i can't decide
what he might have done i only
know every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes every 10 minutes/so
i bought the paper
looking for the announcement
the discovery/of the dismembered
woman's body/the
victims have not all been
identified/today they are
naked and dead/refuse to
testify/one girl out of 10's not
coherent/i took the coffee
& spit it up/i found an
announcement/not the woman's
bloated body in the river/floating
not the child bleeding in the
59th street corridor/not the baby
broken on the floor/
there is some concern
that alleged battered women
might start to murder their
husbands & lovers with no
immediate cause"
i spit up i vomit i am screaming
we all have immediate cause
every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes
every 10 minutes
every day
women's bodies are found
in alleys & bedrooms/at the top of the stairs
before i ride the subway/buy a paper/drink
coffee/i must know/
have you hurt a woman today
did you beat a woman today
throw a child across a room
are the lil girl's panties
in yr pocket
did you hurt a woman today
i have to ask these obscene questions
the authorities require me to
establish
immediate cause
every three minutes
every five minutes
every ten minutes
every day.


Ntozake Shange

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Roddick, Ruby and Body Image~



R.I.P., Anita Roddick
Posted on September 11, 2007 by kateharding


Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop, has died of a brain hemorrhage at 64.
Roddick was well-known for her charity work and her amazing efforts to make it clear that The Body Shop has corporate values other than profit. Those values are listed on the website next to the slogan “Made with Passion”:
Against Animal Testing

Support Community Trade

Activate Self Esteem

Defend Human Rights

Protect Our Planet


I want to talk about the third one.
In 1998, I was into my second year of living as A Thin Person for the first time since I’d hit puberty, having lost 65 lbs. in 1996-7. I didn’t know — well, more accurately, didn’t believe — that two years later I’d be fatter than ever. I thought of myself as the rare dieting success story — a belief supported by my Jenny Craig counselor asking if I’d like to submit my before and after photos for a chance at being in one of their ads, as the smiling thin woman right above the “Results Not Typical” fine print.
One day, on one of the manic, hours-long walks that helped sustain my weight loss, I passed a poster featuring a naked, fat, redheaded Barbie-type doll reclining happily on a couch, with the slogan,

“There are 3 billion women in the world who don’t look like supermodels, and only 8 who do.”
I stopped and stared. I didn’t even register for a couple minutes that it was an ad for The Body Shop. I just thought it was the coolest thing I’d seen in a really long time.


I went to the Body Shop and got myself a postcard of the same ad, and put it on the wall above my desk. Meanwhile, I still thought I was a dieting success story. And yet meanwhile, I still thought my thighs were too fat. I still wanted to be thinner — if I tried harder, I could be a size 2, not just a 4! I still hated my weak chin and big nose and problematic skin. I did not personally want to look like “Ruby” ever again, and yet, I couldn’t stop looking at that picture of her every damned day. I loved it. I loved her. I just thought I would never, ever be able to be as comfortable in my own skin as that plastic doll. I thought I would never, ever be content with my lot as one of the 3 billion.


These days, my body looks an awful lot like Ruby’s, actually — only with nipples and pubic hair and stretch marks and zits and freckles and skin tags and scars. And I am very comfortable in it. And Ruby is partly to thank.
I’ve had cause to say frequently over the last few days that body acceptance is not something I arrived at overnight, as if the logic just clicked and that was that. It was a long, painful struggle. And for a long time, I really liked the idea of fat acceptance, while still really, really not wanting to be fat — so as I’ve also said frequently in the last few days, I have a lot more empathy for fat acceptance supporters who still want to diet than it might seem like I do.


Coming to love my body for what it is — a fundamental part of who I am, not something separate from the Real Me, and most importantly, not an enemy of the Real Me — was a gradual process, most of it happening below my conscious awareness. But there were major flashpoints that will always remain fixed in my memory as early fat acceptance epiphanies. Reading No Fat Chicks, when I was still on Jenny Craig (the first time). Reading The Obesity Myth, after I’d done Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers more than once each, lost a total of 110 lbs., gained it all back, and was finally ready to stop fighting my body. And standing on that street in Toronto, staring at that Body Shop poster.


There are 3 billion women in the world who don’t look like supermodels, and only 8 who do.
On Anita Roddick’s website, she wrote in 2001 about the controversy surrounding the Ruby campaign. Mattel sent a cease-and-desist letter in the U.S., arguing that Ruby made Barbie look bad. (Roddick: “I was ecstatic that Mattel thought Ruby was insulting to Barbie — the idea of one inanimate piece of molded plastic hurting another’s feelings was absolutely mind-blowing.”) In Hong Kong, the posters were banned for being too titillating — while genuinely provocative images of real women remained.


Says Roddick:
And there, in a nutshell, is my relationship with the beauty industry. It makes me angry, not only because it is a male-dominated industry built on creating needs that don’t exist, but because it seems to have decided that it needs to make women unhappy about their appearances. It plays on self-doubt and insecurity about image and ageing by projecting impossible ideals of youth and beauty.


Leonard Lauder, son of Estée, once refused to advertise in Ms. Magazine (back when they still accepted ads) because, he said his products were meant for “the kept woman mentality.”
I think it is a moral imperative that The Body Shop, as a cosmetics company itself, continue to buck the industry on issues of self-esteem, and to expose the cruel irony of the myth that a company must make a woman feel inferior in order to win her loyalty.
They did buck the industry — long before Dove’s much talked about Real Beauty Campaign — and they did create change. Not to mention, they did create brand loyalty without playing on women’s fears. (Mmmm, Body butter.) Believing that all that can be done doesn’t seem so crazy now, but it did when The Body Shop started doing it.


I will always be grateful to Anita Roddick for Ruby, just as activists for animal rights, the environment, HIV awareness, domestic violence awareness, human rights and numerous other causes are grateful to her for making The Body Shop a powerful force for good.
Thank you, Anita Roddick.

Rest in peace.





The Body Shop's campaign offers reality, not miracles.
By STUART ELLIOTT


Published: August 26, 1997

CAN a plump plastic doll help change the way that fashion, beauty and cosmetic marketers portray women in advertising?


The Body Shop, an iconoclastic retailer that sells creams, soaps and other products primarily to women, hopes so. The chain, which has been suffering sales declines in this country in the face of intensifying competition, is undertaking a rare campaign in the mainstream American media, which carries the theme ''Love your body.''
The campaign is emblematic of the hotly debated issue of the ability of advertising to affect and influence behavior. Print advertisements and posters are focused on self-esteem and self-image and centered on the doll, nicknamed Ruby.
The reason for that sobriquet is obvious after seeing the toy, which appears in an ad in the September issue of Self magazine and on the posters due to go up in Body Shop stores for two weeks beginning in mid-September. Though Ruby's red hair, blue eyes and pert nose are typical of so-called fashion dolls, her body is definitely not.
The doll's breasts, stomach and thighs are in a word, Rubenesque. She reclines on a green velvet sofa under this headline: ''There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only 8 who do.''
''Most of the cosmetics industry bases its communications on stereotypical notions of unattainable ideals,'' said Marina Galanti, head of global communications at the Body Shop International P.L.C. in Littlehampton, England. ''We're asking for a reality check.''
''The images in the barrage of advertising around you have very little to do with people riding the bus with you, sitting in the office with you, having dinner with you,'' said Ms. Galanti, who is responsible for advertising and marketing. ''It's good to step back once in a while and say, 'Hmmmm.' ''
The Body Shop campaign, created in house, is indicative of a growing trend: sales pitches that mock or tweak conventional methods of peddling products, particularly images that are perceived as persuading women to conform to certain ideals of appearance. That trend has intensified in the 1990's with the formation of activist groups like Stop Anorexic Marketing, an organization founded by women in the Boston area, some of whom suffered from eating disorders.
For instance, ads for Dove beauty bar promote that Unilever product as ''for the beauty that's already there.'' Campaigns for Chic jeans from the Henry I. Siegel Company have carried such themes as ''Look like yourself'' and ''It's what you feel that counts.'' Print ads for the Freeman Cosmetic Corporation feature a woman, her back turned to the camera, asking, ''How much do you need to see to know I'm beautiful?'' And an ad for Special K cereal, run in Canada by the Kellogg Company, that depicted an ultrathin model and carried the headline ''If this is beauty, there's something wrong with the eye of the beholder.''
''It's enlightened self-interest to identify yourself with women who will be drawn in by advertising that doesn't show an anorexic 15-year-old,'' said Susan Weidman Schneider, editor in chief of Lilith, a quarterly women's magazine from Lilith Publications Inc. in New York that has run articles on subjects like self-esteem and self-image.
''Say what you will about the Body Shop trying to reclaim market share,'' she added, referring to the chain's loss of sales to rival retailers like Bath and Body Works, H20 Works and the Gap. ''The campaign is terribly clever.''
Ms. Galanti said: ''In terms of competition, it's good to celebrate our points of difference. And Ruby does that.''
Most ads by Body Shop International have appeared in stores, devoted to cause-related marketing programs like voter registration. The company has advertised only sporadically in American media, primarily in small, so-called alternative publications like Lilith and Mother Jones.
''Our approach to advertising has been sort of experimental,'' Ms. Galanti said. ''This is a trial for taking alternative imagery into the mainstream media. There are a lot of interesting possibilities there, even for companies oriented toward unorthodox methods of communication.''

If that evokes the strategy pursued by Benetton Group S.p.A. -- the Italian apparel retailer notorious for campaigns that advocate stands on contentious social issues -- well, Ms. Galanti spent four and a half years overseeing international communications and media for Benetton.
''I don't have a problem with advertising as a tool for activism,'' Ms. Galanti said. ''The more interesting way to use advertising is to make brand statements, saying more about our brand than our product.''
Body Shop International initially thrived in America with proclamations by its founder, Anita Roddick, on disputatious issues like animal rights and ecology. The Ruby campaign, though still issue-oriented, is more narrowly focused on a topic more relevant to a purveyor of ointments, lotions and potions.
''It's not a question of what we're trying to tell people, but of what we're not trying to tell people,'' Ms. Galanti said. ''We're saying our products will moisturize, cleanse and polish; they will not perform miracles.''
Ruby's arrival in America comes after she appeared in ads in several of the 47 countries in which Body Shop International operates stores, including Australia, where newspapers there coined her nickname, and Switzerland. In Britain, Simon Green, creative partner at the BDDH agency in London, praised the campaign last month in a critique for the newspaper The Independent as ''incredibly powerful'' because ''it shows enormous empathy for women.''
In addition to the Ruby print ad and posters, there will be what Ms. Galanti called ''Ruby approval stickers'' in stores, which consumers can affix ''on images of men and women they agree with.''
Ruby is an element of a three-part campaign with self-esteem motifs from Body Shop International. After the focus in September on body image, Ms. Galanti said, October will be devoted to ''self-esteem and activism,'' in the form of a promotion to sell whistles that symbolize what a coming print ad calls ''the urgent need to stop violence against women.'' And in November, Ms. Galanti said, the focus will be ''self-esteem and aging -- wrinkles.''