New Year, New Possibilities

2011 is in full swing. for some of us it has started out not so well, for others it is more tragic than the last, for others it's the same old shit, and yet for some of us it is shaping up to be a great year. Whatever the circumstances surrounding our ringing in of a new year, we have each other to share our joys, our sorrows and everything in between. I just want to take this opportunity to tell my mafia sistahs that I love them. no matter where you are in the world and what you are doing, you are always with me and I am always with you. Despite the ups and downs, we are family. love always

A critique of Academic Feminism

Not all feminists have the same view and within our circles that goes without saying. Every fall Women's Studies at the University of Windsor welcomes a feminist activist (distinguished visitor) onto our campus and into our community to talk about the work they do and their politics and perhaps inspire young (and older) feminists to find their niche and do what they can to promote women's rights and to help out in the social justice movement. Over the years there have been some very inspirational women who have done amazing things visiting us and sharing their stories.

One of the resulting issues about these visits is that some students find it hard to situate themselves into to the politics and passions of these distinguished visitors. I am not disregarding the importance of one's own individual social reality and one's own politics; however, this individualist stance in trying to figure out how "your" politics affect "me" reinforces the individualistic ideologies that I have come to believe is contrary to feminist ideologies. Even in our courses we are geared toward thinking as individuals rather than as a part of a collective. Many of our assignment in various course reflect this.

I guess what I am trying to say is that in an effort to achieve solidarity, we should not necessarily focus on this MY/YOUR dualism (that really does not exist) instead, perhaps we should value the politics of others because they are feminist issues (even if they do not directly affect us).

We do a lot of academic and theoretical learning in the classroom (and i suppose that that is what university is built upon) but, outside of the Women's Studies Student association and various other student groups on campus, there isn't very much community based activities attached to the women's studies program. Perhaps that is what we need in order to build solidarity within our generation's women's movement. The 3rd wave is about identity politics, yes. However, I think we are losing our sense of community in our quest to situate ourselves. As a result we create this I/YOU dichotomy that serves to weaken OUR movement and fragment OUR solidarity.

My feminism is complex and I am not quite sure how it works on a broader scale. I see the value in trying to situate one's self. However, it should not be done at the expense. This process should not be done in a way that promotes devaluation of someone else's feminism

Women's Role

Something I found on the World Wide Web while I was doing some research:

(from an old magazine)

Something to think about while you scroll down....
This was then, but are we there yet? Are we where we wanted to be? that is, do we have equality?

The World Is Unfair!

I have been thinking a lot about how unfair the world we live in is. Every day I see someone that is marginalized by society. I see people living in poverty, and people who left their beautiful home in time of war, and people who try to fit into society's norms, and people who are tiered of living, and people who have 1 year or less to live, and people whom have fallen between the gaps, and people like me that get angry and frustrated because people are suffering. Why is there violence, rape, and hunger in the world?

I recently realized that I have good advocacy skills. I can speak up for people when things are unfair. I guess that comes from me respecting democracy and being egalitarian. But is advocacy enough when there is someone that holds the power over decisions.



Is there more to do?

How would you deal with this anger and frustration?











A-B

La Feminista Mafia

Take Back the Night

This year TBTN took on a whole new meaning for mafia members. We got to help plan and (of course) particpate in this annual event. Planning this event was at times nerve wrecking- with week to week meetings, some overly enthuastic committee members, last minute glitches, and worries that no one would show--- but it worked out well and we had an attendance of about 200 + women, children and doggies. We also raised some money for a local charity thanks to our many generous particpants who enjoyed baked goods and hot chocolate afterwards. A good time was had by all.

We just wanted to share the history of TBTN with those readers who may have never heard of it, or who might possible want to hold their own event.-----

From the late 1970's through present day, Take Back The Night events have been held by college and university women's centers, YWCA's, rape crisis centers, community centers, high school student groups, battered women's shelters, and other organizations dedicated to helping women achieve safety and empowerment. Events have been held in England, Belgium, Australia, Canada, the Caribbean Islands, the United States, and likely other corners of the globe.

Men are also lending their voices and standing as survivors at many events. Most events involve candlelight vigils, speak outs, marches and rallies in order to raise awareness about sexual violence. Some events involve only women, but as more men voice their own stories of sexual abuse, most events are coed efforts to raise awareness and promote healing. All events strive to bring awareness to the problem of sexual violence and support those who have been victimized.

Early events focused on unsafe streets, cities and campuses; and then as a protest to pornography and the degradation of women and sexuality. Today, events highlight the problem of violence against women as well as the broader issues of sexual violence: sexual assault, rape, dating violence, sexual abuse, domestic violence, stalking, sexual harassment, child abuse, internet harassment and other unhealthy relationships. Take Back The Night fights to end child prostitution and world-wide sexually related crimes.
http://www.takebackthenight.org/history.html

Embracing Feminist Differences~

This weekend I was blessed to attend the Feminist Research Group conference at the University of Windsor. For those who don't know what this is, it is a collection of interdisciplinary graduate students coming together to present their perspective Master papers to peers. All the presentations have their merits, some more polished then others, but all of the presentations leave attendees feeling inspired and excited for the future.

It was during this time I met a presenter from Massachusetts. It was her first year at the FRG and I asked her how she was enjoying it. She said that it was great--the food, the space, the efficiency and the presentations-- and the feeling of inclusiveness. I was puzzled when she said that. I had to ask her what she meant. "Last year I had attended a conference in NY and they were appalled that I was Pro-Life, to which they automatically said- there is no possible way you can call yourself a feminist. For the rest of the conference I felt excluded and I really began to think about what it means to be a feminist."

I was completely annoyed that she would be treated that way.

I said, "What an absolutely horrible experience that must have been for you. It sounds like you were surrounded by some very die hard second wavers there. I think that this type of behaviour excludes the possibilities of what can be. I like so many other feminist, love our foremothers. They have inspired not just their generation but our generation, and have given us the freedom to dare to dream. Third wave feminism is rooted in the basic feminist principles - equality for all, social justice, exposing sources of oppression, sexual liberation and of course- activism. Does it mean that we all look the same no. I personally think that Third wave is fluid, that individually we can come together on one topic and completely disagree on another- does that make either one of us less of a feminist? I don't think so. Does it disregard the hard work of the second wave? No, I think it's only natural that feminism changes with the world."

She thought for a moment, and said " I like how you think. I know for sure I will be back next year."

Right or wrong I don't think there is a particular way of being a feminist. I surely don't want to pass judgement on others, because to me being a feminist is a very personal thing, and more importantly, I would never want to disregard the hard work, love, time, and sacrifice of our foremothers. We have nothing but love, respect and adoration for their hard work. I personally have never lost sight of everything you have done for us, and we remain grateful. But much like children, there is a time for us to find our own way. A time when we have to take the knowledge you have armed us with and forge our own path in this world. We are not clones but rather an extent ion of you. The roots you have planted are deep and strong we will not forget, or forsake those ideals which unite all feminist.

For all my feminist sisters, embrace the differences, marvel in the possibilities of what might be, know with your heart that we will move forward and continue to fight the good fight until we have achieved our goals. Do not allow difference of opinion cloud your mind and divide you. We have much to accomplish and we can only do it with the love and support of one another. I leave you with a thought:


Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood. ~~~ Gloria Steinem~~~

Everyday Hero...

Erma Bombeck saved my life.

For those of you who don’t know who she is, let me share. She was just an average, everyday wife and mother who wrote about her simply “complicated” life. Being a single mother I always felt that I wasn’t good enough. I had one kid that loved to eat gum of the ground, another who was forever flushing things down the toilet, and another who was fixated on girls at time when others his age considered them “gross”, and one that just wanted to stay with my mother. I felt like I was the most screwed up mother on the planet, that my kids were doomed for a life of therapy and meds (although my motto is “I am more then positive your therapist will love this story”). I needed a beacon of hope.

One day in a secondhand bookstore I came across Erma’s book entitled “If life is a bowl of Cherries…what am I doing in the pits?” I picked it up thinking it might be a fun read. So sitting on the train on the way home I started reading. I laughed and laughed, and laughed some more, to the dismay of those around me. Apparently when you’re the only one who is privy to a joke, it is annoying to others, but that did not stop me from laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes. This particular day I was reading about her learning to play tennis because she wanted to be “ cool and hip” like other moms, but she ended up entangling herself in the net and falling flat on her back in front of the whole club, to her children’s shock and dismay. Of course she was embarrassed but she found the humour in it and took it in stride. Her everyday adventures were so completely unimportant, but that is exactly why they were so interesting .

Erma gave me hope, where all other parenting books made me want to hand my children over to children’s services before I completely ruined their lives. In the pages of her books I learned that what I was going through was normal, and that I would live through it. I learned that no matter how crazy things seem they could be worse. She assured me that as a mother, that I was not a failure and that I didn’t have to be what everyone else expected. In the end I would be okay, and the kids would be okay, and she was right. Her love and laughter came through in her writing.

One amazing and inspiring thing I want to you to know about her, is not just her writing, but also her personal story. Erma suffered from a hereditary kidney disease, and battled cancer in her later years, yet through it all she was a wife, mother and a journalist. She wrote four thousand syndicated columns and wrote 15 best selling books. She was part of the feminist movement of the 60’s and she inspired women all over the world, until 1996 when she passed away from her ongoing battle with cancer.

Erma Bombeck’s legacy lives on and through the lives of women like myself. Women who needed to hear that their unconventional parenting skills were not bad, only different. Women who needed to laugh at things rather then blow a gasket over something that they had no control over. And more importantly to enjoy being a parent, because in a blink of an eye, they go from diapers to college. She inspired me, and pushed me forth, thus saving my life.

I think its only fitting that I leave you with a quote:

~It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. ~Erma Bombeck

Thank You Erma wherever you are~~xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo