La Feminista Mafia

New Year, New Possibilities

2011-01-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

2011 is in full swing. for some of us it has started out not so well, for others it is more tragic than the last, for others it's the same old shit, and yet for some of us it is shaping up to be a great year. Whatever the circumstances surrounding our ringing in of a new year, we have each other to share our joys, our sorrows and everything in between. I just want to take this opportunity to tell my mafia sistahs that I love them. no matter where you are in the world and what you are doing, you are always with me and I am always with you. Despite the ups and downs, we are family. love always

A critique of Academic Feminism

2010-09-22T11:17:00.000-07:00

Not all feminists have the same view and within our circles that goes without saying. Every fall Women's Studies at the University of Windsor welcomes a feminist activist (distinguished visitor) onto our campus and into our community to talk about the work they do and their politics and perhaps inspire young (and older) feminists to find their niche and do what they can to promote women's rights and to help out in the social justice movement. Over the years there have been some very inspirational women who have done amazing things visiting us and sharing their stories.

One of the resulting issues about these visits is that some students find it hard to situate themselves into to the politics and passions of these distinguished visitors. I am not disregarding the importance of one's own individual social reality and one's own politics; however, this individualist stance in trying to figure out how "your" politics affect "me" reinforces the individualistic ideologies that I have come to believe is contrary to feminist ideologies. Even in our courses we are geared toward thinking as individuals rather than as a part of a collective. Many of our assignment in various course reflect this.

I guess what I am trying to say is that in an effort to achieve solidarity, we should not necessarily focus on this MY/YOUR dualism (that really does not exist) instead, perhaps we should value the politics of others because they are feminist issues (even if they do not directly affect us).

We do a lot of academic and theoretical learning in the classroom (and i suppose that that is what university is built upon) but, outside of the Women's Studies Student association and various other student groups on campus, there isn't very much community based activities attached to the women's studies program. Perhaps that is what we need in order to build solidarity within our generation's women's movement. The 3rd wave is about identity politics, yes. However, I think we are losing our sense of community in our quest to situate ourselves. As a result we create this I/YOU dichotomy that serves to weaken OUR movement and fragment OUR solidarity.

My feminism is complex and I am not quite sure how it works on a broader scale. I see the value in trying to situate one's self. However, it should not be done at the expense. This process should not be done in a way that promotes devaluation of someone else's feminism

Women's Role

2009-12-07T18:00:00.000-08:00

Something I found on the World Wide Web while I was doing some research:

(from an old magazine)

Something to think about while you scroll down....
This was then, but are we there yet? Are we where we wanted to be? that is, do we have equality?

The World Is Unfair!

2009-12-03T05:35:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about how unfair the world we live in is. Every day I see someone that is marginalized by society. I see people living in poverty, and people who left their beautiful home in time of war, and people who try to fit into society's norms, and people who are tiered of living, and people who have 1 year or less to live, and people whom have fallen between the gaps, and people like me that get angry and frustrated because people are suffering. Why is there violence, rape, and hunger in the world?

I recently realized that I have good advocacy skills. I can speak up for people when things are unfair. I guess that comes from me respecting democracy and being egalitarian. But is advocacy enough when there is someone that holds the power over decisions.

Is there more to do?

How would you deal with this anger and frustration?

A-B

La Feminista Mafia

Take Back the Night

2009-11-10T04:45:00.000-08:00

This year TBTN took on a whole new meaning for mafia members. We got to help plan and (of course) particpate in this annual event. Planning this event was at times nerve wrecking- with week to week meetings, some overly enthuastic committee members, last minute glitches, and worries that no one would show--- but it worked out well and we had an attendance of about 200 + women, children and doggies. We also raised some money for a local charity thanks to our many generous particpants who enjoyed baked goods and hot chocolate afterwards. A good time was had by all.

We just wanted to share the history of TBTN with those readers who may have never heard of it, or who might possible want to hold their own event.-----

From the late 1970's through present day, Take Back The Night events have been held by college and university women's centers, YWCA's, rape crisis centers, community centers, high school student groups, battered women's shelters, and other organizations dedicated to helping women achieve safety and empowerment. Events have been held in England, Belgium, Australia, Canada, the Caribbean Islands, the United States, and likely other corners of the globe.

Men are also lending their voices and standing as survivors at many events. Most events involve candlelight vigils, speak outs, marches and rallies in order to raise awareness about sexual violence. Some events involve only women, but as more men voice their own stories of sexual abuse, most events are coed efforts to raise awareness and promote healing. All events strive to bring awareness to the problem of sexual violence and support those who have been victimized.

Early events focused on unsafe streets, cities and campuses; and then as a protest to pornography and the degradation of women and sexuality. Today, events highlight the problem of violence against women as well as the broader issues of sexual violence: sexual assault, rape, dating violence, sexual abuse, domestic violence, stalking, sexual harassment, child abuse, internet harassment and other unhealthy relationships. Take Back The Night fights to end child prostitution and world-wide sexually related crimes.
http://www.takebackthenight.org/history.html

Embracing Feminist Differences~

2009-05-24T04:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was blessed to attend the Feminist Research Group conference at the University of Windsor. For those who don't know what this is, it is a collection of interdisciplinary graduate students coming together to present their perspective Master papers to peers. All the presentations have their merits, some more polished then others, but all of the presentations leave attendees feeling inspired and excited for the future.

It was during this time I met a presenter from Massachusetts. It was her first year at the FRG and I asked her how she was enjoying it. She said that it was great--the food, the space, the efficiency and the presentations-- and the feeling of inclusiveness. I was puzzled when she said that. I had to ask her what she meant. "Last year I had attended a conference in NY and they were appalled that I was Pro-Life, to which they automatically said- there is no possible way you can call yourself a feminist. For the rest of the conference I felt excluded and I really began to think about what it means to be a feminist."

I was completely annoyed that she would be treated that way.

I said, "What an absolutely horrible experience that must have been for you. It sounds like you were surrounded by some very die hard second wavers there. I think that this type of behaviour excludes the possibilities of what can be. I like so many other feminist, love our foremothers. They have inspired not just their generation but our generation, and have given us the freedom to dare to dream. Third wave feminism is rooted in the basic feminist principles - equality for all, social justice, exposing sources of oppression, sexual liberation and of course- activism. Does it mean that we all look the same no. I personally think that Third wave is fluid, that individually we can come together on one topic and completely disagree on another- does that make either one of us less of a feminist? I don't think so. Does it disregard the hard work of the second wave? No, I think it's only natural that feminism changes with the world."

She thought for a moment, and said " I like how you think. I know for sure I will be back next year."

Right or wrong I don't think there is a particular way of being a feminist. I surely don't want to pass judgement on others, because to me being a feminist is a very personal thing, and more importantly, I would never want to disregard the hard work, love, time, and sacrifice of our foremothers. We have nothing but love, respect and adoration for their hard work. I personally have never lost sight of everything you have done for us, and we remain grateful. But much like children, there is a time for us to find our own way. A time when we have to take the knowledge you have armed us with and forge our own path in this world. We are not clones but rather an extent ion of you. The roots you have planted are deep and strong we will not forget, or forsake those ideals which unite all feminist.

For all my feminist sisters, embrace the differences, marvel in the possibilities of what might be, know with your heart that we will move forward and continue to fight the good fight until we have achieved our goals. Do not allow difference of opinion cloud your mind and divide you. We have much to accomplish and we can only do it with the love and support of one another. I leave you with a thought:

Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood. ~~~ Gloria Steinem~~~

Everyday Hero...

2009-03-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

Erma Bombeck saved my life.

For those of you who don’t know who she is, let me share. She was just an average, everyday wife and mother who wrote about her simply “complicated” life. Being a single mother I always felt that I wasn’t good enough. I had one kid that loved to eat gum of the ground, another who was forever flushing things down the toilet, and another who was fixated on girls at time when others his age considered them “gross”, and one that just wanted to stay with my mother. I felt like I was the most screwed up mother on the planet, that my kids were doomed for a life of therapy and meds (although my motto is “I am more then positive your therapist will love this story”). I needed a beacon of hope.

One day in a secondhand bookstore I came across Erma’s book entitled “If life is a bowl of Cherries…what am I doing in the pits?” I picked it up thinking it might be a fun read. So sitting on the train on the way home I started reading. I laughed and laughed, and laughed some more, to the dismay of those around me. Apparently when you’re the only one who is privy to a joke, it is annoying to others, but that did not stop me from laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes. This particular day I was reading about her learning to play tennis because she wanted to be “ cool and hip” like other moms, but she ended up entangling herself in the net and falling flat on her back in front of the whole club, to her children’s shock and dismay. Of course she was embarrassed but she found the humour in it and took it in stride. Her everyday adventures were so completely unimportant, but that is exactly why they were so interesting .

Erma gave me hope, where all other parenting books made me want to hand my children over to children’s services before I completely ruined their lives. In the pages of her books I learned that what I was going through was normal, and that I would live through it. I learned that no matter how crazy things seem they could be worse. She assured me that as a mother, that I was not a failure and that I didn’t have to be what everyone else expected. In the end I would be okay, and the kids would be okay, and she was right. Her love and laughter came through in her writing.

One amazing and inspiring thing I want to you to know about her, is not just her writing, but also her personal story. Erma suffered from a hereditary kidney disease, and battled cancer in her later years, yet through it all she was a wife, mother and a journalist. She wrote four thousand syndicated columns and wrote 15 best selling books. She was part of the feminist movement of the 60’s and she inspired women all over the world, until 1996 when she passed away from her ongoing battle with cancer.

Erma Bombeck’s legacy lives on and through the lives of women like myself. Women who needed to hear that their unconventional parenting skills were not bad, only different. Women who needed to laugh at things rather then blow a gasket over something that they had no control over. And more importantly to enjoy being a parent, because in a blink of an eye, they go from diapers to college. She inspired me, and pushed me forth, thus saving my life.

I think its only fitting that I leave you with a quote:

~It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. ~Erma Bombeck

Thank You Erma wherever you are~~xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A Woman's Reality

2008-12-13T05:14:00.000-08:00

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .

Best,

Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX

Insult to Injury!

2008-11-29T07:27:00.001-08:00

This month is about denouncing Violence Against Women and Girls. The white ribbon campaign is near and dear to the hearts of many. At my school there are many events to promote bring awareness to the community, and let women and girls know where they can get help if they need it.

On the very first day of the campaign we had a guest speaker on campus- None other then the defence attorney for Robert Picton- Adrian Brooks. For those who might not know Picton was convicted of murdering 6 prostitutes, implicated in 20 more deaths and claims to have killed up to 49 victims-- all women. Picton said "I would have liked to make it 50 even but I got sloppy."

Picton's guilt was undeniable. DNA evidence sealed his fate; it was all technicalities at the trial. So there is no way Mr.Brooks can say that he had no prior knowledge of his client’s guilt. Picton's given rights state that he is entitled to due process- innocent till proven guilty-any attorney who represented
Picton would make history; this would be jewel in his crown. I respect the fact that from a legal standpoint his experience in this trial is definitely relevant. He participated in grim historical event, which will not be forgotten any time soon.
Unfortunately, for Mr.Brooks he is now guilty by association.

I found it in very poor taste for Mr.Brooks to speaking on the opening day of the white ribbon campaign. From a moral standpoint the mere fact alone that he defended Picton-whose trial was a mere formality- speaks volumes as the possible character of Mr.Brooks (this is my own thoughts). There were many other times that he could have come to talk- why that day of all days? Did the establishment not know that we- the students, the community; the women- would find that offensive?

It saddens me to see that the lives of these women are so blatantly overlooked - just so we could be graced with his presence----- lucky us …..

December is Domestic Violence Month~

2008-11-18T15:48:00.000-08:00

I got flowers today.

It wasn't my birthday

or any other special day.

We had our first argument last night,

And he said a lot of cruel things

that really hurt me.

I know he is sorry

and didn't mean the things he said.

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.

It wasn't our anniversary,

or any other special day.

Last night, he threw me into a wall

and started to choke me.

It seemed like a nightmare.

I couldn't believe it was real.

I woke up this morning sore and

bruised all over.

I know he must be sorry,

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,

and it wasn't Mother's Day

or any other special day.

Last night, he beat me up again.

And it was much worse

than all the other times.

If I leave him,

what will I do?

How will I take care of my kids?

What about money?

I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.

But I know he must be sorry

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.

Today was a very special day.

It was the day of my funeral.

Last night, he finally killed me.

He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered enough courage

and strength to leave him,

I would not have gotten flowers today.

~ Author Unknown ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Violence against women is a serious issue in Canada
Half of Canadian women (51%) have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
Every minute of every day, a Canadian woman or child is being sexually assaulted.
One to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
Spousal violence makes up the single largest category of convictions involving violent offences in non-specialized adult courts in Canada over the five-year period 1997/98 to 2001/02. Over 90% of offenders were male.
Thirty-six percent of female victims of spousal violence and less than 10% of victims of sexual assault reported these crimes to the police in 2004.

each year (factoring into account social services, criminal justice, lost employment days and health care interventions).
Violence against women occurs across all ethnic, racial, religious, age, social and economic groups. Some women are more vulnerable however, and are more likely to experience violence, including women with disabilities, geographically-isolated women, young women and Aboriginal women.
Women are more likely than men to be victims of the most severe forms of violence
Women experience higher rates than men of sexual assault, stalking, serious spousal assaults and spousal homicide.
In 2004, twice as many women than men were beaten by their partners and four times as many were choked.
Of the almost 34,000 victims of spousal violence reported in 2000, women accounted for the majority of victims (85%): a total of 28,633 victims.
Women are three times more likely than men to be physically injured by spousal violence and five times more likely to require medical attention.
Women are five times more likely to fear for their lives as a result of spousal violence: the violence or threat of violence was so severe that 38% of women feared for their lives compared with 7% of men.

Violence against women affects children
Every year in Canada, up to 360,000 children are exposed to domestic violence.
For children who are exposed to violence, consequences can include emotional trauma, depression, injury and permanent disability, as well as other physical, psychological and behavioural problems that can extend into adolescence and adulthood.
58,486 women and 36,840 children sought refuge in one of 473 shelters across Canada between April 1, 2003 and March 31, 2004.

((http://www.cdnwomen.org/EN/section05/3_5_1_1-violence_facts.html))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women with ethnic background

2008-09-04T16:12:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a blog that has always had/have interesting writing in it. The blogger is Emil Brikha. A young man that is LIVING his dream and that is something most of us only dream of doing. He has always interesting and mind opening topics in his blog, and I would like to share one of his publications with you.

Why do I want to share this? Because there are many women that will recognize themselves in this (one of them is me) and by reading this we understand that our feelings are shared by many, and maybe we can get some strength in knowing that we are not alone and choose our own way without having voices that hold us back from finding our own identities.

I think Emil Brikha’s writing can be recognized in many cultures, even the western culture, where women are held back from opportunities that could flourish their lives. Is it not wonderful that there are some men out there in the world writing for women’s rights? Thank you Mr. Brikha for letting us share your work!

The Assyrian woman who decided to just do it.
August 24th, 2008

Last Friday a woman’s life changed forever, but it started three months ago. I had written an article about my life in Malta and this woman read it. She decided to look me up on the internet and email me some questions about my choice to move, the life here and the sacrifices it took to actually make it happen.
About three months later, last Friday, this woman moved to Malta. She took a year off from her very successful carrier in Sweden and with a helping hand from me she got in touch with recruiting companies in Malta and was able to find a job within my area of business, iGaming (online betting, poker, casino etc). The company she got a job with even pays for her apartment and picked her up at the airport to take her to her new place. To top it off, it turns out she lives on my street, so we went from complete strangers to close friends and neighbours during this time.
The other day we were sitting on my balcony, watching the sea and talking about how she went from reading an article to literally rebuilding and redefining her life from scratch. She told me about her fear about what her family and others would say but at the same time the pride she took in being responsible in her choices and plans. Every move she made was carefully planned, leaving very little to coincidence.
She was telling me how many times she had been crying, panicking and mumbling “Damn you Emil” because what “I had gotten her into”. But she knows it was her choice so she laughs about it now, I just gave her the tools to fulfil a dream. In writing this I hope she can now bring inspiration and be a tool for any other woman in a similar situation. I am hoping more people will take after her. Despite all her insecurities and pre programmed behaviour she knew she owed it to herself to be the very best person she could be, not necessarily what her parents or traditions dictated for her. While her friends are settling down and getting married she is going through a rebirth, finally on her way to find her real self.
This Assyrian woman was born and raised in Sweden. Like many other Assyrians she was raised a certain way with a very conservative upbringing, basically moulded to wait hand and foot on her family and future husband. I’m not saying this is the typical Assyrian way but it’s not an uncommon way how girls are raised. Constantly put down and reduced to a symbol of perverted honour for the family to watch over at all times.
I don’t call it perverted honour just because it’s destructive for a person’s soul to be put down and controlled. I call it perverted because the boys are not treated and brought up the same way. For instance, surely if one believes in “no sex before marriage” that should apply to both genders. This is just one example of the many things that I dislike about some of my people’s mentalities and many things just like this has made me distant from my people through my upbringing. It is also these very reasons that drove this woman away from Sweden. She has been controlled her whole life to the point where she doesn’t even know what is her will and her own morals and what has been forced upon her by her surroundings.
I look at her now and compare her attitude to the person I got to know over email and I am bursting with pride over what a big step she dared to take. I know she is still battling inside, trying to find out who, what and why she is. I know this goes on in most of us but I also know that the sacrifices we make in life are rarely as great as the fear that prevents us from achieving them.
I have written numerous articles about and for the Assyrian people and most of the time I try to internalize the various problematic situations we are in by shifting the focus from pointing fingers outwards, to pointing a mirror at ourselves. I feel this is necessary because while we are screaming from the top of our lounges, demanding our political and human rights from the oppression and genocide in the Middle East we forget about the problems that we have in our communities where we can speak freely without fear for our own safety.
There is very little tolerance for liberalism and feminism. You can even put those two big issues aside and just look at basic fundamental things like materialism, ignorance and sexism. How are we supposed to survive as a people when we don’t even honour our girls and women? What honour is there in depriving your own daughter, sister or cousin from her God given right to make her own choices in life? I’m not saying you shouldn’t care or not set limits for your children. I’m simply saying, give them room to grow into individuals and be fair and equal because equality is the very basic form of respect we owe each other as people.
If we throw that out the window we can never have strong, independent women. We can never have free thinking, opinionated female leaders. If we are to survive as a people we better start picking up the trash in our own backyards and revaluate our moral compasses and teachings from our grandparents.
There is no shame in renewing, exploring and expanding. You can still keep your culture and traditions. But don’t fool yourselves. It has never been our culture or tradition to oppress our women or to force them into lives they don’t want. Not only that but you have no right because if you are religious and believe in God, God gave us free will so that we could make mistakes and repent from them and while we can express our concern and opinions about the choices our loved ones make, it is still their choice to make.
I know many girls and women who have been mentality enslaved by their families wishes. I know many boys and men who have been pushed into choices in life that were not theirs to begin with. I know some of my people (and in situations like this it’s hard to call them MY people) worry too much about what others might say or think. They should spend that energy loving and nurturing the people around them because there are some really beautiful choices being made, even if it goes against their families’ wishes and orders. It is the families’ responsibility as loving people and human beings to look beyond what was dictated to them when they grew up.
Take this woman for example. She was miserable in Sweden with her controlled life shattered around her ankles, forming a ball and chain, allowing her no freedom. No evolution of herself, simply maintaining an illusion, a smoke screen of what her parents wanted her to be, at the price of her own life.
Look at her now. She has a new job and a new apartment in a new country. She has a new life where she is actually smiling, laughing and from the bottom of her heart. Maybe it’s not the life her parents wanted for her but that is beside the point and beyond their control. If she is a strong, intelligent, righteous and responsible person they have nothing to worry about or criticize her for. The only responsibility she has towards her parents and God is to be the very best and most fulfilled version of herself that she can possibly be and I believe that is exactly what she is doing by making these choices for herself.
So, rather for her family to bow their heads in shame because they no longer have the power over her to tell her what to do, they should celebrate her strength and independence and the rest of us need to make sure that not one more generation of our girls and women grow up doubting their abilities and give them the freedom they truly deserve.

Retrived from: http://www.blog.lqp.se/colourful/

Author: Emil Brikha

Dark poem with deep meaning.....

2008-09-04T03:28:00.000-07:00

With No Immediate Cause

every 3 minutes a woman is beaten
every five minutes a
woman is raped/every ten minutes
a lil girl is molested
yet i rode the subway today
i sat next to an old man who
may have beaten his old wife
3 minutes ago or 3 days/30 years ago
he might have sodomized his
daughter but i sat there
cuz the young men on the train
might beat some young women
later in the day or tomorrow
i might not shut my door fast
every 3 minutes it happens
some woman's innocence
rushes to her cheeks/pours from her mouth
like the betsy wetsy dolls have been torn
apart/their mouths
menses red & split/every
three minutes a shoulder
is jammed through plaster and the oven door/
chairs push thru the rib cage/hot water or
boiling sperm decorate her body
i rode the subway today
& bought a paper from a
man who might
have held his old lady onto
a hot pressing iron/i don't know
maybe he catches lil girls in the
park & rips open their behinds
with steel rods/i can't decide
what he might have done i only
know every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes every 10 minutes/so
i bought the paper
looking for the announcement
the discovery/of the dismembered
woman's body/the
victims have not all been
identified/today they are
naked and dead/refuse to
testify/one girl out of 10's not
coherent/i took the coffee
& spit it up/i found an
announcement/not the woman's
bloated body in the river/floating
not the child bleeding in the
59th street corridor/not the baby
broken on the floor/
there is some concern
that alleged battered women
might start to murder their
husbands & lovers with no
immediate cause"
i spit up i vomit i am screaming
we all have immediate cause
every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes
every 10 minutes
every day
women's bodies are found
in alleys & bedrooms/at the top of the stairs
before i ride the subway/buy a paper/drink
coffee/i must know/
have you hurt a woman today
did you beat a woman today
throw a child across a room
are the lil girl's panties
in yr pocket
did you hurt a woman today
i have to ask these obscene questions
the authorities require me to
establish
immediate cause
every three minutes
every five minutes
every ten minutes
every day.

Ntozake Shange

Roddick, Ruby and Body Image~

2008-08-05T04:04:00.000-07:00

R.I.P., Anita Roddick
Posted on September 11, 2007 by kateharding

Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop, has died of a brain hemorrhage at 64.
Roddick was well-known for her charity work and her amazing efforts to make it clear that The Body Shop has corporate values other than profit. Those values are listed on the website next to the slogan “Made with Passion”:
Against Animal Testing

Support Community Trade

Activate Self Esteem

Defend Human Rights

Protect Our Planet

I want to talk about the third one.
In 1998, I was into my second year of living as A Thin Person for the first time since I’d hit puberty, having lost 65 lbs. in 1996-7. I didn’t know — well, more accurately, didn’t believe — that two years later I’d be fatter than ever. I thought of myself as the rare dieting success story — a belief supported by my Jenny Craig counselor asking if I’d like to submit my before and after photos for a chance at being in one of their ads, as the smiling thin woman right above the “Results Not Typical” fine print.
One day, on one of the manic, hours-long walks that helped sustain my weight loss, I passed a poster featuring a naked, fat, redheaded Barbie-type doll reclining happily on a couch, with the slogan,

“There are 3 billion women in the world who don’t look like supermodels, and only 8 who do.”
I stopped and stared. I didn’t even register for a couple minutes that it was an ad for The Body Shop. I just thought it was the coolest thing I’d seen in a really long time.

I went to the Body Shop and got myself a postcard of the same ad, and put it on the wall above my desk. Meanwhile, I still thought I was a dieting success story. And yet meanwhile, I still thought my thighs were too fat. I still wanted to be thinner — if I tried harder, I could be a size 2, not just a 4! I still hated my weak chin and big nose and problematic skin. I did not personally want to look like “Ruby” ever again, and yet, I couldn’t stop looking at that picture of her every damned day. I loved it. I loved her. I just thought I would never, ever be able to be as comfortable in my own skin as that plastic doll. I thought I would never, ever be content with my lot as one of the 3 billion.

These days, my body looks an awful lot like Ruby’s, actually — only with nipples and pubic hair and stretch marks and zits and freckles and skin tags and scars. And I am very comfortable in it. And Ruby is partly to thank.
I’ve had cause to say frequently over the last few days that body acceptance is not something I arrived at overnight, as if the logic just clicked and that was that. It was a long, painful struggle. And for a long time, I really liked the idea of fat acceptance, while still really, really not wanting to be fat — so as I’ve also said frequently in the last few days, I have a lot more empathy for fat acceptance supporters who still want to diet than it might seem like I do.

Coming to love my body for what it is — a fundamental part of who I am, not something separate from the Real Me, and most importantly, not an enemy of the Real Me — was a gradual process, most of it happening below my conscious awareness. But there were major flashpoints that will always remain fixed in my memory as early fat acceptance epiphanies. Reading No Fat Chicks, when I was still on Jenny Craig (the first time). Reading The Obesity Myth, after I’d done Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers more than once each, lost a total of 110 lbs., gained it all back, and was finally ready to stop fighting my body. And standing on that street in Toronto, staring at that Body Shop poster.

There are 3 billion women in the world who don’t look like supermodels, and only 8 who do.
On Anita Roddick’s website, she wrote in 2001 about the controversy surrounding the Ruby campaign. Mattel sent a cease-and-desist letter in the U.S., arguing that Ruby made Barbie look bad. (Roddick: “I was ecstatic that Mattel thought Ruby was insulting to Barbie — the idea of one inanimate piece of molded plastic hurting another’s feelings was absolutely mind-blowing.”) In Hong Kong, the posters were banned for being too titillating — while genuinely provocative images of real women remained.

Says Roddick:
And there, in a nutshell, is my relationship with the beauty industry. It makes me angry, not only because it is a male-dominated industry built on creating needs that don’t exist, but because it seems to have decided that it needs to make women unhappy about their appearances. It plays on self-doubt and insecurity about image and ageing by projecting impossible ideals of youth and beauty.

Leonard Lauder, son of Estée, once refused to advertise in Ms. Magazine (back when they still accepted ads) because, he said his products were meant for “the kept woman mentality.”
I think it is a moral imperative that The Body Shop, as a cosmetics company itself, continue to buck the industry on issues of self-esteem, and to expose the cruel irony of the myth that a company must make a woman feel inferior in order to win her loyalty.
They did buck the industry — long before Dove’s much talked about Real Beauty Campaign — and they did create change. Not to mention, they did create brand loyalty without playing on women’s fears. (Mmmm, Body butter.) Believing that all that can be done doesn’t seem so crazy now, but it did when The Body Shop started doing it.

I will always be grateful to Anita Roddick for Ruby, just as activists for animal rights, the environment, HIV awareness, domestic violence awareness, human rights and numerous other causes are grateful to her for making The Body Shop a powerful force for good.
Thank you, Anita Roddick.

Rest in peace.

(http://kateharding.net/2007/09/11/rip-anita-roddick/))

The Body Shop's campaign offers reality, not miracles.
By STUART ELLIOTT

Published: August 26, 1997

CAN a plump plastic doll help change the way that fashion, beauty and cosmetic marketers portray women in advertising?

The Body Shop, an iconoclastic retailer that sells creams, soaps and other products primarily to women, hopes so. The chain, which has been suffering sales declines in this country in the face of intensifying competition, is undertaking a rare campaign in the mainstream American media, which carries the theme ''Love your body.''
The campaign is emblematic of the hotly debated issue of the ability of advertising to affect and influence behavior. Print advertisements and posters are focused on self-esteem and self-image and centered on the doll, nicknamed Ruby.
The reason for that sobriquet is obvious after seeing the toy, which appears in an ad in the September issue of Self magazine and on the posters due to go up in Body Shop stores for two weeks beginning in mid-September. Though Ruby's red hair, blue eyes and pert nose are typical of so-called fashion dolls, her body is definitely not.
The doll's breasts, stomach and thighs are in a word, Rubenesque. She reclines on a green velvet sofa under this headline: ''There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only 8 who do.''
''Most of the cosmetics industry bases its communications on stereotypical notions of unattainable ideals,'' said Marina Galanti, head of global communications at the Body Shop International P.L.C. in Littlehampton, England. ''We're asking for a reality check.''
''The images in the barrage of advertising around you have very little to do with people riding the bus with you, sitting in the office with you, having dinner with you,'' said Ms. Galanti, who is responsible for advertising and marketing. ''It's good to step back once in a while and say, 'Hmmmm.' ''
The Body Shop campaign, created in house, is indicative of a growing trend: sales pitches that mock or tweak conventional methods of peddling products, particularly images that are perceived as persuading women to conform to certain ideals of appearance. That trend has intensified in the 1990's with the formation of activist groups like Stop Anorexic Marketing, an organization founded by women in the Boston area, some of whom suffered from eating disorders.
For instance, ads for Dove beauty bar promote that Unilever product as ''for the beauty that's already there.'' Campaigns for Chic jeans from the Henry I. Siegel Company have carried such themes as ''Look like yourself'' and ''It's what you feel that counts.'' Print ads for the Freeman Cosmetic Corporation feature a woman, her back turned to the camera, asking, ''How much do you need to see to know I'm beautiful?'' And an ad for Special K cereal, run in Canada by the Kellogg Company, that depicted an ultrathin model and carried the headline ''If this is beauty, there's something wrong with the eye of the beholder.''
''It's enlightened self-interest to identify yourself with women who will be drawn in by advertising that doesn't show an anorexic 15-year-old,'' said Susan Weidman Schneider, editor in chief of Lilith, a quarterly women's magazine from Lilith Publications Inc. in New York that has run articles on subjects like self-esteem and self-image.
''Say what you will about the Body Shop trying to reclaim market share,'' she added, referring to the chain's loss of sales to rival retailers like Bath and Body Works, H20 Works and the Gap. ''The campaign is terribly clever.''
Ms. Galanti said: ''In terms of competition, it's good to celebrate our points of difference. And Ruby does that.''
Most ads by Body Shop International have appeared in stores, devoted to cause-related marketing programs like voter registration. The company has advertised only sporadically in American media, primarily in small, so-called alternative publications like Lilith and Mother Jones.
''Our approach to advertising has been sort of experimental,'' Ms. Galanti said. ''This is a trial for taking alternative imagery into the mainstream media. There are a lot of interesting possibilities there, even for companies oriented toward unorthodox methods of communication.''

If that evokes the strategy pursued by Benetton Group S.p.A. -- the Italian apparel retailer notorious for campaigns that advocate stands on contentious social issues -- well, Ms. Galanti spent four and a half years overseeing international communications and media for Benetton.
''I don't have a problem with advertising as a tool for activism,'' Ms. Galanti said. ''The more interesting way to use advertising is to make brand statements, saying more about our brand than our product.''
Body Shop International initially thrived in America with proclamations by its founder, Anita Roddick, on disputatious issues like animal rights and ecology. The Ruby campaign, though still issue-oriented, is more narrowly focused on a topic more relevant to a purveyor of ointments, lotions and potions.
''It's not a question of what we're trying to tell people, but of what we're not trying to tell people,'' Ms. Galanti said. ''We're saying our products will moisturize, cleanse and polish; they will not perform miracles.''
Ruby's arrival in America comes after she appeared in ads in several of the 47 countries in which Body Shop International operates stores, including Australia, where newspapers there coined her nickname, and Switzerland. In Britain, Simon Green, creative partner at the BDDH agency in London, praised the campaign last month in a critique for the newspaper The Independent as ''incredibly powerful'' because ''it shows enormous empathy for women.''
In addition to the Ruby print ad and posters, there will be what Ms. Galanti called ''Ruby approval stickers'' in stores, which consumers can affix ''on images of men and women they agree with.''
Ruby is an element of a three-part campaign with self-esteem motifs from Body Shop International. After the focus in September on body image, Ms. Galanti said, October will be devoted to ''self-esteem and activism,'' in the form of a promotion to sell whistles that symbolize what a coming print ad calls ''the urgent need to stop violence against women.'' And in November, Ms. Galanti said, the focus will be ''self-esteem and aging -- wrinkles.''

((http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9905E2D61F3EF935A1575BC0A961958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=1))

Why I want a Wife~ Judy Brady~

2008-08-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

"According to the dictionary, a wife is a "woman married to a man." But, as many women know, a wife is much more: coo, housekeeper, nutritionist, chauffeur, friend, sex partner, valet, nurse, social secretary, ego-builder, and more. Rather than complains why she herself would like to have a wife.
I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am a Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.
Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene from the Midwest fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is obviously looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school, so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arrenges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shoping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and a change of scene.
I want a wife who will take care of details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to certain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about the things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night ot by myself.
I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to ralate to people as fully as possible.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have acquired a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can moree fully and completely take care of a wife's duities.
My God, who wouldn't want a wife ? "

Don't ask my opinion~ you might not like what you hear....

2008-08-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

So today I was doing this online survey. The topic was the new magic "eraser" for Mr. Clean. Funny as I was watching it, I didnt care about the product-- I was actually thinking about, was WHY is a woman still doing the housework- and you wanna make my cleaning easier.. come the hell over and do it!!!! The survey included dumb ass statements like - "I when my home is clean, I feel it is a place my family can be proud of" - "The scent of a product lets other know my home is clean"--I was like... what the hell is it the 1950's again? did I just get sucked into a time warp? am I in oz?

In the infiniate wisdom of the company conducting the survey allowed for comments by -ME-the person taking the survey. (Boy.. where they dumb)

"Over all I feel that the commercial was a way of enforcing genderize stereotypes to the unsuspecting masses. Since it is 2008, one would expect to see a man cleaning the house as well. I am sure this comes as a suprise that not all individuals are mindless consumers and look at commericals a little more critically. If you want to really impress me, go ECO, show men doing housework ( or teens- if you want to be realistic). As for the product its self- during the commerical I noticed the strain in her hand to clean a spot, and she was UNREALISTICALLY smiling while she cleaned. This product is yet another example of "reinventing the wheel."

I wish I could see the look on their faces...

~LaFeministaMafia~exposing the truth since we could speak~

Syndromes

2008-07-31T15:56:00.000-07:00

Just wondering why is it when women express some sort of strength, power, rebellion or act outside of what we are “supposed” to, it’s labelled as a syndrome?

Battered-women syndrome...what else is she supposed to do? Sit there and take his shit all the time? Is she not acting logically?

Violent-girls syndrome...what the eff is that anyway? When teenage boys are being violent and getting into fights it’s a normal part of them turning into men...why the double standard?

This fucking bullshit pisses me off!!!

2008-07-20T04:37:00.000-07:00

Phenomenal Woman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Maya Angelou

Why a Feminist Mafia?

2008-07-19T20:33:00.000-07:00

""Because a woman's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important then what we can do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nyphos and if we don't we are frigid and if we love women it's because we cant get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and or pushy and if we expect childcare we are selfish and if we stand up for our rights we are aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we dont we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we dont we're unnatural and because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we cant cope or don't want a pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and..... for lots and lots of other reasons...(I)we (am) are a part of the women's liberation movement"

Audre Lorde- excerpt from "Sister Outsider" - The Crossings Press, 1984